


Dan and Phil family One Shots

by abiotic_butterfly



Category: Phandom
Genre: Cam keeps inturpting videos, Children get spooked, Dan and Phil Spooky Week, Just Dance Game, M/M, Mpreg, Talk of More Children, The Talk, Yoga, YouTube Views, birds and the bees
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-04-18 12:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abiotic_butterfly/pseuds/abiotic_butterfly
Summary: A bunch of one shots about Dan and PhilDiscontinued - (I won’t be updating this much seeing as I have no ideas for it/if I do update it’s rare)





	1. Just Dance

“Hi, Dan and Phil games!” Dan waved his hand in front of the camera. Phil doing a weird semi dance in the background.

“Are you ready for another - Dan vs. Phil!” Phil looked to the sky as he did a loud “psh” noise, Dan accompanying him with a “bwung boom!”

“So I know we haven’t really done a lot of games that evolve moving so we’re gonna do that.” Dan’s monotone voice carried on, slowly dying as he went on and stopping completely when he ran out of air. 

“Jesus Christ, well - I think we should start don’t you?” Phil tried to get the everyone back on track with the game planned.

“Yes! Right Phil, we’re going to be another Just Dance. But this time, we’re doing the 2018 one.” Dan smiled, making a weird face as he nodded.

Phil looked at him worriedly, “actually I didn’t have time and I kind of forgot to get the new one…”

Dan turned his half hearted glare to Phil. “It’s not even that brand new Phil. It’s been out for months. You had one job.” He crossed his arms.

“Well I’m sure ours will still work.” He smiled adorably, trying to play everything off on his cuteness.

Dan rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face. “But it’s still not the same I mean-“ 

“See look it’s fine.” Phil gestured to the tv, the Just Dance main screen showing on the television. “See nothing's wrong- it’s you know- yeah!” He nodded, his smile going from Dan to the tv.

Dan sighed, “whatever let’s do this mate.” He picked up the controller and smacked his hands together. “I’m ready to win!” He gripped onto the wii remote as it lit up ready to begin use.

They were just about to start when Phil noticed someone standing behind them in the camera. He turned around to see Cam, their four year old standing behind them. 

“Hey sweetie need anything?” At this Dan turned around, now understanding who Phil was talking and looking at.

“Yeah bud, you missing something?” The little boy shook his head, just watching the tv, occasionally looking to Dan or Phil. 

“I just wanted to see…” was all he said. His eyes glued to the tv.

Dan caught where his attention was and smiled. “Wanna join us?” He grabbed a spare controller and held it out to him.

Cam slowly walked over to them, taking the offered remote. 

Phil smiled down before looking back to the camera. “Well it looks like Cam is joining, but oh no. Whose side he going to be on?” Phil smiled playfully at Dan.

“He can be on your team, you’re gonna need all the help you can get.” He smiled challengingly.

Phil laughed, “oh you wait. I’ll show you. Let’s do this Cam.” 

The four year old stared at the lit up controller confused. Sure, he’d seen his dads use them before but he’d never himself. 

He never found much interest in it when they played. Which was rare. He took more to their computer games, like the Sims 4. They were his joy.

“I don’t know how.” He admitted a little embarrassed. Holding the slowing stick up to Phil.

“Oh well here.” Phil kneeled down and placed the remote back in his small hand. “Now we gotta wrap this around your wrist in case you let go.” He wrapped the string around his small arm, not knowing how tight was tight enough. 

“Okay I think that’s good. Now for how it works it’s pretty simple. The weird plus right here is for selecting and going through things and - you know, all you really gotta do is look at the screen and choppy what they do.” Cam nodded looking up at the three players already standing.

“I picked while you were talking, you snooze you lose.” Dan laughed. Phil huffed, “next time you help your son.”

“When you don’t want to help him then he’s mine.” Dan joked back. Phil “pffed” and raised his controller to give consent to playing whatever Dan had chosen.

“Okay so Cam you just gotta-“ but before he could finish it make a beep and the screen went blank and music started to play.

“Oh...nice.”

Dan let out a laugh at that. “He’s a natural.”

Three players showed up again. Blue, pink and green.

“Okay so I’m blue, Phil you’re pink and Cam’s got green.” Dan informed them incase they didn’t realize, which Cam might not have.

The figures started to move and twirl around. Dan uncoordinatedly wracked Phil in the arm on one of his turns. 

“Fu- I mean darn!” He grumbled angerly at how he lost his “excellent.”

Phil started to pull ahead, one more star carrying him on. The black haired boys smile was grand. “I’m gonna beat you loser.” He kidded.

Dan glanced down at Cam who was staring intensively at the screen and following everything he could. 

“Good job Cam.” Dan smiled down at him, his heart filling with pride. 

“Ha! I won!” Phil laughed, his bar full with pink juice as Cam and Dan watched his pleased smile.

“I am the champion!” He beat his chest with his fists dramatically. 

Cam handed the remote back to Dan. “I’m done.” He smiled up at him before skipping off.

“Now Dan…” Phil reached over pulling up the wood board. “Sticker me.”


	2. Spooky Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil plus Cam try out Sisters Location.

“Hey Dan and Phil games, we’re back today with spooky week. And we have special guest…” Dan looked down at Cam who was hiding in between him and Phil. At the mention of his que the boy jumped up and yelled, “boo!” 

Phil laughed and tried to fake a scared expression. “You got me there.” Dan rolled his eyes at Phil’s attempt to humor the child. “Let’s just get to the game.” Dan announced. 

Phil nodded, “so we were going to play the Spongebob Slenderman game but we thought Cam would then become terrified of him and we didn’t want that-” 

“So we went with Five Nights At Freddy’s!” Dan interrupted. “I was getting to that.” Phil argued back. Dan waved his hands around. “So basically we’re going to be doing Spongebob later so Cam can still have his innocence.”

Cam looked up at Dan confused before jumping onto his lap and arranging himself to sit down. “Go?” Cam looked at Phil and then to Dan. He clearly didn’t care much for their talking and wanted to get straight to the point. 

“Okay, jeez. We’re getting there Cam.” Dan laughed and ruffled the young boys hair. Phil loaded up the game and smiled. “We’re good let’s start.” 

“Wait-” Dan stretched in his chair to turn off the lights, he straightened back up and rearranged Cam on his thighs so he was comfortable. 

“So to be exact this game is called Sisters location. It’s something similar to Five Nights of Freddy’s but not exactly. See?” You could see how it showed different characters as the game started. 

Cam watched intensely as Dan and Phil exchanged dialog and laughed when one of them sad something funny. It came to a scene where there was a ballerina that they got quite. “Oh shit…” Phil glared over at Dan. “You’re not supposed to swear in front of Cam.” He reminded him.

Dan only rolled his eyes, “I’m sure he’s heard me say it before. Right Cam?” Dan looked down at the boy who was now looking at him. “What?” Was all the kid asked. Dan smiled and laughed. “See, he doesn’t even know.” Phil sighed but they went back to the game.

Cam figited on Dan’s lap, he was told to be quite for this little while but he didn’t know when he could take again. “Daddy?” Dan took a chance to look down at him, then back to the game. “Yeah Cammy?”

Cam leaned back against his dad and snuggled closer. “I’m bored, why is this a game?” 

Dan chuckled, his eyes focused on the game. “Cuz it’s entertaining” 

“But it doesn’t make noise or talk, and you don’t move a lot. I thought it would be like a movie.” Dan couldn’t help the laugh he let out. “You’ve seen us play Sims.” Cam shook his head, “that was more fun.” 

At that moment a loud noise came from the game, startling everyone in the room. “God!” Phil frowned at the screen. “I died…” Dan just stared at the strange creatures on the screen. Cam seemed more interested all of the sudden. “That’s better!” He laughed out. 

Phil shook his head but a smile was on his face. “Now you’ve got him liking horror games.”


	3. Yoga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A failure at Yoga.

“What up guys! Today we’re back with Dan and Phil yoga.” Dan put his hands together and closed his eyes, planning on editing soft colors in later. 

Phil looked at him and gave him a ‘please not right now’ look. 

Dan did his usual ‘uh I-‘ face and then turned away, scratching his head and nodding. “Welp if you couldn’t tell we’re doing more Yoga!”

Phil cheered with fake happiness, “you guys liked it so much that we decided to have another go with it.”

Dan nodded, “what he said. Now let’s get to it.” 

Phil pulled out his computer and set it on the floor looking at the screen. He chuckled and looked up at Dan. “I say we do this one.” He pointed to one and Dan rolled his eyes and huffed. 

“I object.” He complained as he walked over to the mats and got into the position the picture showed. It was one with a woman that had her hands supporting her body while her legs extents above the floor in front of her.

Dan had made it halfway before his leg fell and he let himself drop to the floor in shame.

“Daddy what ar’ you doing?” Can walked into the room unsurely, his dad’s never were on the floor unless they were playing with him. 

He looked to the camera and then to them, “why are you on a’ floor?”

Phil waved Cam over so that he could see the picture. “Daddy was trying to do that.”

Cam looked at Dan who was still gasping on the floor. Then to Phil, his face was scrunched up in confusion. “Why?”

“It’s for a video, basically it’s something called Yoga. It’s for exercise, so say you don’t want to go out and run, you can stay home and do weird positions.” 

Cam nodded slowly, “can I do some?”

Dan laughed, “you don’t want to.” 

Phil wacked Dan in the leg and looked back to Cam. “Course you can.”

Cam smiled and walked over to Dan, “can I do what you were doing?”

Dan shrugged, “if you want to.” He pushed himself up and off of the mat. Struggling to sit up. “God that took effort.” He waved Cam over and into the mat, telling the young boy to sit down.

“Okay so you’re gonna want to hold your arms here.” He brought the boys arms to the floor on either side of him. “And now hold your boy up and put your legs out.” Dan lifted him and watched as Cam struggled to hold himself up. 

Eventually Cam collapsed and Dan had to quickly grab him before he hit his head on the floor. “See, not that easy.”

Cam had turned his attention to the woman on the screen and was scrunching up his face. “I didn’t like that.”

Dan laughed and Phil sighed, a small smile on his face.


	4. Birds Bees and YouTube Views

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil tell Cam about the Birds and The Bees. All for YouTube views. Hey! Everyone’s desperate now.

“Hello Dan and Phil- wait no that’s wrong.” Phil covered his mouth and started laughing as Dan gave him the ‘I’m disappointed in you’ look.

Phil shook his head, waving his hands around in a dramatic fashion. “Nope, not Dan and Phil games! Just Dan and Phil!”

“Philllll.” Dan looked from his boyfriend to where their son sat between them.

“Oh and Cam, yeah, Dan, Phil and Cam.” 

Dan rolled his eyes but the smile that was only for Phil never left his face. 

“Okay guys,” Dan took the lead, “basically we’re running out of ideas. Not Pewdiepie levels of I don’t know. Just kind of like. What the hELL SHOULD WE DO?!”

“Dan! Quit yelling the neighbors already hate us.” Phil was laughing at Dan glare towards the wall.

“Alright, alright. So basically we’re going to be doing that thing where we exploit our child for views.” He clapped his hands and got Phil and Cam to join him. 

Phil began by trying to explain what the hell they were talking about. “Okay, so basically. Cam doesn’t really- exactly- kind of know about where babies come from-“ 

“But we’re gonna be doin’ that right now.” Dan interrupted, looking to the camera and giving it a obvious and over the top wink. 

Cam looked between his two dads in confusion. “Babies?” He whispered out, hoping one of them would acknowledge his confusion in the whole thing.

“This isn’t bad parenting is it?” He looked at Phil and then to the camera. He shook his head. “I think we’re good.”

“Okay- now Cam. I know we’ve talked about where babies come from a little bit but now we’re gonna go into a little bit of detail. Not too much!” He looked to the camera, his eyes wide. “Not too much! Just a little bit.” 

Cam nodded his head, bouncing in place. “Babies are brought by storks!” 

“Actually it’s um- sort of the result of when two people love each other.”

Cam frowned, “I love you and papa. Are we going to have a baby?”

Dan looked panicked, “no, no, no, no, no. It’s between two adults- and it’s not between family members. Okay?” 

Cam nodded, a little unsure.

“Okay, so once the two adults- um- do a special dance one parent gets pregnant and carries the baby. After nine months, bam baby.”

Cam nodded, a smile on his face. “Daddy when can I have a baby?”

Dan looked at Phil who cleared his throat. “Where you’re older, Lion.”

“Older?”

“Thirty, let's go with thirty.” 

Cam nodded, “okay daddy.” 

Dan sighed, “okay. So now you know. That wasn’t so hard.”

Cam looked between his dads and frowned. “Daddy can girls have babies.”

“Yeah, if a girl wants a baby she does the dance with a boy and then they get a baby.”

“What about two girls? Just like you and daddy?” He was smiling and looking between the two adults. 

“Well you see- not exactly.” 

“How come?”

“Well- um. It’s just how it is. You see at one point in time only boys and girls could have babies. But then boys could have babies together. So maybe one day girls can have children together.”

Cam nodded, a happy smile still in place. “That’s nice. Everyone should have babies if they wan one!” 

Dan nodded, “yeah…spot on Cam.” A warm smile graced his face at how adorable his son was.”

“So did you or papa have me?”

Phil frowned in though, “you mean who carried you?”

“Yep!”

“Well that was me.” Dan answered. “You were quite annoying with all your kicking. But in the long run- I think you were worth it.” He gave Cam’s hair a ruffle. 

Cam laughed, “course I was!”

Phil laughed, “sure we’re Lion.”

Cam thought for a moment and then looked back to Dan. “Are you and papa gonna have more babies?”

Dan frowned and looked to Phil who shrugged, “we never really thought of it. You might be it for us, Bear.” 

Cam smiled, “I’m cool with that.”

Phil sighed, a dreamily happy look on his face. “Glad to hear it, Lion.” 

“Well that’s about it- hope we get view- I mean hope you had fun. We’ll see you next time.” The three of them waved and ended the video.


End file.
